Maybe you can...?
My 15-minute mini spiritual guidance readings are back this week ✨ Plus, a reminder that the shackles we put ourselves in might not be as real as we think.
Do you ever become aware of how much weight you give to other people’s approval or societal expectations when you’re making decisions? Whether it’s around your career, what you post online, your relationships or the choices you make about your life?
I’ve battled with this a great deal over the years, and one thing I’ve become increasingly aware of is the things we tell ourselves: “I can’t do that because…”
Very little of it is actually real.
So much of the time, it’s an imaginary cage we’ve built for ourselves, based on all sorts of things – the beliefs we hold, what society expects of us, what our parents, teachers and big sisters have told us over the years, and even what we’ve experienced in the past.
“Don’t bring me problems, bring me solutions.”
And just when we think we’ve deconstructed that cage, it pops up somewhere else in our lives, waiting for us to ask ourselves two very important questions:
How can I make this happen?
And why should I make this happen?
My first boss in the corporate world, when I was 21, constantly used the phrase, “Don’t bring me problems, bring me solutions.” It used to frustrate the heck out of me!
But she was right.
How many times do we sit and list all the roadblocks? All the reasons why we shouldn’t make that change? All the reasons why it won’t work, why we can’t do it, why now isn’t the right time? The list of people that we’ll disappoint…
Perhaps it’s time to bring yourself some solutions instead.
I understand that there can be a very real fear of shame if you fail in front of other people. Perhaps you’ve made a commitment to someone and you don’t want to let them down. Maybe you’re following a path of obligation – to your parents, your partner, your boss, or even the version of yourself you thought you were supposed to become.
Often, we become so focused on what other people want or expect from us that we abandon ourselves, our wants and our needs, in the process. But there’s always a personal cost further down the line.
I saw something recently that said, “The longer you stay on the wrong train, the longer it’s going to take you to reach your destination.” And really, when you think about it, you’re only delaying the inevitable.
So perhaps the question isn’t “Why can’t I do this?”
Perhaps it’s:
“What would need to happen for me to do this?”
And then go and find the answer.
15 minute mini-readings
If you didn’t manage to grab a 15-minute mini spiritual guidance reading last week, I’ve added some more spaces for this week. You can book yours here.
Gemma xx