Not feeling festive? Here’s how to honour your energy this christmas
Are you feeling a bit Grinch-like this season and shying away from all the holiday cheer? Whatever your reason - I’m here to tell you it’s okay.
Are you feeling a bit Grinch-like this season and shying away from all the holiday cheer? Whatever your reason - I’m here to tell you it’s okay. Christmas can be a challenging time for many, and I, for one, have had my share of difficult holidays. I spent my first Christmas alone in 2018. My (ex) husband and I had just separated in September, the same week I received a cancer diagnosis. Surgery was scheduled quickly, but complications with my healing meant I couldn’t fly. I’m originally from Northern Ireland, but I’ve lived in England for the past 19 years, and the only family nearby was my daughter, who was just 4 at the time. Too sick to fly, unable to drive, and feeling utterly sorry for myself - it wasn’t pleasant.
Since then, I’ve spent many more Christmases alone. I’ve always been reluctant to take my daughter away and have her miss out on spending Christmas Day with her dad, and I didn’t want to leave her to return to Northern Ireland either. So, I stayed put and found ways to cope with the varying emotions that Christmas can stir up in us. It’s not just about loneliness; the season can bring up all sorts of feelings - nostalgia, sadness, stress, or even joy - and learning to navigate those emotions can be a challenge.
If you’re feeling this way, I’m here with some tips to help you survive Christmas - and do it your way!
Do it your way
If you’re not feeling the festive cheer and you have the option to do your own thing - do it! If that means ordering takeout pizza, grabbing a Starbucks coffee, or swapping turkey for a cheeseboard or sushi—go for it! In cities, many food places are open on Christmas Day, and with the wide variety of delivery services, you’re bound to find what works for you. If you’d rather be prepared, stock up on your favourite goodies beforehand and do whatever feels right. Last year, I spent Christmas morning wrapping my daughter’s presents and ordered a Starbucks via Uber Eats, and I’ve also been known to order pizza - something that might raise a few eyebrows, but it worked for me as a singleton with no family nearby.
Create space for you
The busyness of Christmas can be exhausting! So it’s important to make time for you. This might mean meditating, journaling, or simply taking a nap - and that’s okay! The holidays can be overwhelming with the constant pressure to be cheerful and surrounded by family, but it’s essential to acknowledge how you’re feeling and do what’s best for your energy. Take time out to nurture yourself and don’t overdo it.
Say no
As challenging as it may be, sometimes we need to learn to say no to protect ourselves. If there’s a tradition or event you dread, why put yourself through it? Remember, it’s more important to honour yourself than to appease others. Saying no is a powerful form of self-respect. It may not be understood by everyone, but your choices are yours alone. Don’t feel pressured to conform to others expectations.
Practice self-care
For me, nothing beats a relaxing bath. This Christmas Day, once my daughter heads to her dad’s in the afternoon, I plan on having a long soak with some beautiful bath bubbles, maybe adding some salts and crystals for extra relaxation. Whatever self-care looks like for you, this is the perfect opportunity to focus on you.
Redefine Christmas
Tradition-smadition - traditions evolve over time, and it doesn’t have to be the “typical” Christmas to be meaningful. Perhaps this is the time to set the tone for what Christmas means to you. You could devote time to working with the elderly or the homeless, helping others who may be struggling during this time of year or even in dedication to a loved one who is no longer with us. Whatever you choose to make of Christmas, this is your opportunity to create a personal tradition that feels aligned with who you are.
A closing thought from me
The holidays are not one-size-fits-all, and that’s perfectly okay. Honour your energy this Christmas by creating a space that feels true to you, whether it’s through new traditions, moments of quiet reflection, or simply giving yourself permission to step away from expectations. You deserve a holiday that nourishes you, just as much as anyone else does. So, take a deep breath, trust yourself, and enjoy the season in a way that feels good for you.
Gemma Lonsdale is a life coach, psychic medium, and advocate for personal empowerment. With over a decade of experience in guiding others through life’s challenges, she is passionate about helping individuals reconnect with their true selves and embrace their unique journeys. When not writing or coaching, Gemma enjoys spending time with their daughter, reflecting on life’s deeper meanings, and dreaming of a peaceful life in the countryside.